Dinner with the Danes

Published: NOW Magazine
by June Chua

Before heading to Denmark, I checked the web for information and discovered a program called "Dine with the Danes" in Copenhagen, a service that helps visitors meet and eat with Danish families. 

"Dine with the Danes" matched us with the Rouws, a couple in their mid-30s who live in downtown Copenhagen with their three daughters.  She works as a magazine editor, he with a parents' organization.  I imagined them to be blond, healthy and living in a wonderland of Ikea chairs, tables and couches. 

When the appointed night came, my boyfriend and I went for our "dinner with the Danes." We arrived at a three-storey brick building, buzzed the apartment and Iben greeted us.  

The apartment looked like IKEA magazine spread: light wood, tidy and modern.  The building had a large inner courtyard with a playground and communal barbeque pit. 

Moments later, Ton showed up with baby in tow and the Rouws' other daughters came out of their rooms. Iben motioned us to sit down for dinner in their sun-filled kitchen.

Dinner began with an appetizer of prawns in a cucumber dill sauce served in martini glasses.

They asked us about our impressions of the city. We said we had noticed children everywhere.   

"That's the way it is here, but it seems different in North America," said Ton.  The year before, the Rouws had vacationed in the U.S., touching down in New York on their return. 

"Many years back, a Danish woman was detained there because she left her baby in the carriage outside a store.  Social services said she was an unfit mother.  In Denmark, it's not unusual to leave your baby outside while you go into a store."

"We were a little afraid," Iben said.  "Many years back, a Danish woman was detained there because she left her baby in the carriage outside a store.  Social services said she was an unfit mother.  In Denmark, it's not unusual to leave your baby outside while you go into a store."  

Iben was on a year's maternity leave and Ton has nearly two months of holidays every year, with an extra two days a year for each child under seven.  Unbelievable. 

"Yes, it's great but things are changing here," said Iben. 

By this time, she had served us two pork tenderloin dishes:  a simple roast and one stuffed with prunes.   She took out oven-fried potatoes, celery root and beets and offered a green salad. 

"Those politicians say we are not a multi-cultural country, but we are," said Ton, shaking his head.  He told us later that immigrants account for five per cent of the 5.4 million population -- a far cry from19 per cent in Canada.

"Those politicians say we are not a multi-cultural country, but we are," said Ton, shaking his head.  He told us later that immigrants account for five per cent of the 5.4 million population -- a far cry from19 per cent in Canada.

At this moment, we were digging into a delicious ice-cream cake with a walnut base.  

They asked us our impressions of their country.  We tried out some phrases from our guidebook, which had a tongue-in-cheek section called "How to Annoy or Charm a Dane."  

"Doesn't your Queen have a dentist?"

Big laugh.  They admitted Queen Margrethe had yellowed teeth because she smoked like a steamroller, endearing her to the population. Iben says smoking is regarded as an inalienable right -- 34 per cent of adults in Denmark are smokers. 

"Don't you think candles make a place cosier?" I asked.

Another winner.  "We love candles," said Iben.  "It's part of our way of life.  We have a concept of hygge ( HOO -gah) which translates as ‘cosy.' It's the ultimate compliment." 

It was getting late.  We had been in their living room for a couple of hours.  Coffee, cookies and a fuel-laced cold liqueur called acquavit had been dispensed.  The girls and the baby were asleep.

"You know, you're the first Canadians we've befriended," remarked Ton, prompting us to ask what they thought of us.   They exchanged a secret smile. 

"We discussed what you might be like," said Iben. "We thought, perhaps you might be thinner, more intelligent and polite than Americans." 

"Did we measure up?" I ventured.